Walk A Block In My Shoes, Please

Don't you just love it when other people criticize you for not accomplishing everything they think you should be doing every day? And then they try to pile on even more projects, so you won't have idle hands for the devil to put to use.
Of course, none of us should be sitting on our keesters day in and day out either, without trying to increase our skills or our knowledge in some positive way, even if we're too fatigued to be of use to other people for a time. A day wasted can never be reclaimed. And we accomplish more real projects if we're organized. But not getting enough done?
Some recent studies even seem to show that multi-tasking isn't good for us, too stressful, in fact. Really now? Women could have told the researchers that a long time ago! Unless we are of the total loner mentality, we know we're trying to do too many things at once, and for too many hours a day.
Even losing one's job doesn't free up any time for a person to relax. Outside of the stressful job hunt, once other people find out you're at home, the phone solicitations start: Since you're home right now, would you mind helping us with... A little of that extra load, enough to get you out of the house and feeling good about assisting others, can go a long way.
Man works from the rising to the setting of the sun,
But a woman's work is never done.
There's a reason for all those old bromides! They're true. But since spouses and significant others rarely do the same kind of chores as women do, multi-tasking is the only way for women to survive and keep up with everything we need to get done. This includes reaching out to help other people, when we hear of their sorrows. Nurturing is instinctive with the majority of females in any species.
Truly, most of us are run ragged 7 days a week. There's nothing very restful about the Sabbath even, with religious responsibilities to take care of, including members to visit, then family to telephone, letters to write, perhaps upcoming scriptural lessons to prepare. This is on top of preparing food three times during the day and/or stopping long enough to eat it.
So before you tell me (or anyone else) again that without challenge, there is no growth, would you mind walking a block in my shoes first? I ask because I know you wouldn't survive the proverbial mile in them. Even though you yourself must have time on your hands, a little compassion could work wonders for both of us. And please do keep in mind that I may be almost as much an expert at dealing with challenges as anyone else. I just come at them from a different set of life experiences.
Thank you on behalf of all our harried sisters.
© 2003 Shirley Ann Parker. Reprinted from The Corner Desk, January 2003

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By Shirley Ann Parker

Shirley Ann Parker is a full-time technical writer, as well as an author. Her acclaimed short story collection about the joys and frustrations of family and friendships, Discoveries: A Journey Through Life, is available through Infinity Publishing at http://www.bbotw.com and at http://www.amazon.com Each delightful story contains a strong sense of wonder about the world and a good dash of humor where it fits. Learn more about Shirley's writing and other interests at http://www.shirleyannparker.com

Trying Too Hard to be a Perfect Woman

You could be setting yourself up for frustration and failure. Six ways to achieve more by doing less. In today’s world, with pressure to do and be everything, who does not want to be Super Women, being a perfect women?
Most, if not all, women feel the need to be perfect, but being a perfectionist is debilitating because we feel, each and everyday, like we don’t measure up. Letting go of your quest for perfection allows you to achieve more and enjoy life in the process. Here are six steps to embracing your less-than-perfect-self:
1. Do it half-rate. Choose an activity and instead of aiming for your typical 100 percent, shoot for 70 or even 50 percent. Every Christmas, Johannah Haney, 24, from Columbus, Ohio, is obsessive about gift wrapping. “I spend weeks and way too much money making my present look window-display perfect,” she says. “People do not even appreciate it that much, so I wind up feeling disappointed.” This year, Haney is taking the low-key route. “I bought some inexpensive paper, and I am going to put on Christmas music and limit the wrapping to one afternoon. I want to make it a fun rather than stressful experience.”
2. Make a list – then minimize it. List everything you feel has to get done today. Then grab a red pen and circle only the items of highest priority. Consider it a successful day when you have completed those tasks.
3. Redefine workout. Chloe Bergman, 28, an artist living in New York City, always strove for intense workout. “Unless I was sweating bullets on the tread-mill everyday, it was enough,” she says. But then a friend took her to yoga class. “It actually helped my running,” Bergman says. “Now I am convinced it is good to vary my workout, in terms of intensive as well as type.”
4. Say no more often. Perfectionist women feel like they should be able to do everything. But they can’t. No one can. So the next time you’re asked to serve on demanding committee or have coffee with someone you don’t really like spending time with, politely (but firmly) decline.
5. Reward yourself for every accomplishment. Channing Dungey, 33, a film producer in Los Angeles, has a hard time acknowledging that she’s finished a work project. “I’ll keep checking and rechecking it to make sure it’s exactly perfect,” she says. To counterbalance these tendencies – and help herself leave the desk – Dungey has created a reward system. “For a small project, I’ll get some frozen yogurt. For a bigger project, I’ll buy a new pair of shoes. It helps me break out of my pattern of feeling like the work is never done.”
6. Share rather than compare. The annoying thing about saying adios to your perfectionist self is that everyone around you still looks perfect. Next time, instead of comparing yourself to your friends, open up to them – confess how uninformed you think you looked in that meeting, how you embarrassed yourself on a date. You’ll be surprised to learn that most people experience the same things. We’re not so perfect after all.

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By Yulia Mark

Yulia Mark from Women Lifestyle, Fashion, Health, Beauty and Personality Network , small group of women journalists on WomenDiary.Net to the World

The Way He Folds His Pants

Just as a person’s desk is an analogy of her mind so a man’s closet is an analogy of his attitude towards life. From how much time he spends on the care of his clothing to the way he hangs them up, a man often displays his priorities by the way he treats his laundry. Overall, there are three kinds of husbands: messy, organized, and downright obsessive.
The messy husband does not list his wardrobe high on his list of priorities. His clothing is usually not hung up but stuffed in a dresser drawer or flung over the back of a chair. Refusing to abandon his college days, he considers the “sniff-test” a valid assessment of the cleanliness of his chosen outfit. His shoes are often nowhere to be found, unless he remembers that he kicked one under the sofa and set one on top of the TV set while engrossed in the latest show on the SpeedVision channel. The only hangers that grace his memory are the ones that he secured the muffler of his classic Chevy with and the one he used to unlock his sister’s car. This husband’s only hope for order is his wife. If she is opposed to this lifestyle, and not an active participant, she will spend every waking minute cleaning up after this man. She will pick up underwear out of the bathroom, pants off of the bed, and shirts out of the living room. Her only pleasure in this is that she gets to keep the money she finds in his pockets. The messy man sees himself as too busy and too interested in other things to worry about the little things in life. He does not feel the need to worry about how his clothing gets into his closet, or that it even does.
The organized husband treats his clothing with care. He prefers his wardrobe to be neat and structured around a basic format. His pants are hung separately from his shirts and his shirts are organized by style and season. He has specified hangers for his more expensive clothing, but does not worry about how his t-shirts are hung. His shoes are lined up neatly underneath all the hanging clothing and all properly matched. He does not always place his dirty clothing in the hamper, but it is normally found within the general vicinity. His clothing is mostly wash-and-wear, as he does not see the point of paying someone to dry clean something that he could clean himself. His wife still does the laundry, but will be relieved of her duties if she refuses to abide by the general order of the closet. He likes to view himself as an active participant in the way he leads his life. He feels that it is an advantage over the rest of the male population if his clothing is clean, wrinkle-free, and easily accessible. This sense of order allows him to quickly prepare himself in the morning, so that he may spend more time on the important things in life – like sleep or the commute to work.
The obsessive husband takes organization to an extreme. He separates his attire by type, style, color and pattern. He also owns specialized hangers for every article of clothing. For instance, his pants hang full length from hangers with padded clips and his shirts are hung from various sizes of hangers in order to prevent lumps from appearing on his shoulders or back. His wardrobe completely consists of dry clean only garments – and he does make weekly trips to the cleaner’s. Once he receives his clothing back from the cleaner’s, he immediately removes the wire hangers and hangs his clothing the way he likes it and places it in his cedar-lined closet. This closet was specially built in order to repel any cloth-eating insects without that dreaded mothball scent. His shoes are placed in their own labeled, moisture-resistant box, and are neatly stacked in their own shelving unit. He normally does not let his wife near his closet for fear of her soiling his clothing with makeup, perfume, or any other feminine product. The most he will allow her to do is drive the dirty laundry to the cleaner’s. He enjoys order and feels relief once everything is put away in its position, whether it is laundry, work or his marriage. Any sense of disorder could immediately cause a situation worth panicking over.
If I had a choice, and at one time I thought I did, I would choose the organized husband. In theory, he would be able to find the hamper, but not complain about the way the laundry was done. He would be laid-back about the state of the household, but unable to live in filth. I believe that most women would agree that an organized man is the easiest to live with... that is, if men were predictable. After seven years of marriage, I have realized one thing: my husband has been all of these at one time or another and honestly I ride the waves of his moods without choice and all I can do is try and curb the extremities until the next swing hits. We haven't lined the closet in cedar yet though.

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By Cynthia Dollins

Cynthia Dollins works in corporate America and is well known within her company for her training manuals and easy to understand instructions. She rediscovered creative writing during college and is an author on a site for Creative Writers ( http://www.Writing.Com/ )

Stop Smoking Hypnotherapy – Can This Work?

If you’ve already tried a variety of the stop smoking aids, and you’ve tried quitting smoking without any help at all, you may think it’s just not meant to be. If you haven’t tried quit smoking hypnosis, you should take a minute to consider the possibility.
When the word “hypnosis” is mentioned, many people immediately conjure up images of the comedic hypnotists that make unsuspecting participants quack like a duck or perform some other ridiculous action. Hypnosis stop smoking programs are serious help for those with a serious desire to quit smoking cigarettes.
There’s no doubt that suggestion is a powerful tool. If you doubt that, just think about the amount of money spent on advertising. While it’s not hypnosis in the purest sense of the word, there’s no doubt that advertising works because we are open to suggestion. This is the first major step before turning to hypnosis as quit smoking help – you have to believe that hypnosis will work and open yourself to the power of suggestion.
Smoking cessation is undeniably difficult. One of the most common problems faced by those who seek out hypnotherapy seems to be the expectation that stop smoking help will be easy with hypnotherapy. The truth is that most who undergo hypnosis still report an occasional craving for a cigarette. There’s no doubt that stopping smoking isn’t easy, and there seems to be no stop smoking methods that work without the will power of the smoker. If you want to know how to stop smoking without ever facing any cravings for another cigarette, you’re looking for a magic cure – unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to exist.
That’s not to say that hypnosis doesn’t work - quite the contrary. And there are those people who report that they never again have the desire to pick up another cigarette. Just don’t enter into a hypnosis program expecting perfect results. This, like all quit smoking products and programs, should be counted as one part of the overall plan.
Quit smoking support is another important factor, and you may very well get the needed support as part of the hypnosis program. There could be a group that meets periodically, or the hypnotist may be available for additional consultations at no cost over a specific period of time.
Cost is another factor that keeps some people from seeking out hypnosis. You’ll find that this isn’t a free stop smoking program, but it may not be as expensive as you think. You’ll find plenty of advertisements in most areas for around $100.
Despite what some people think, stop smoking hypnosis isn’t a magic cure. Regardless of what stop smoking programs you try, you’re likely going to experience some withdrawal and there will be times that cigarette smoking is appealing. But if you’re ready for help to stop smoking, hypnosis may very well be just the answer you’ve been searching for.
There’s no doubt that smoking is detrimental to your health, and that there are incredible benefits to quitting. Isn’t it time you considered hypnotherapy?

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By Steve Hill

Steve Hill discusses the quit smoking process. Learn the facts before you decide which quit smoking product to buy. Read more no-hype stop smoking articles and information at: quit smoking.

Stop Smoking Hypnotherapy – Can This Work?

If you’ve already tried a variety of the stop smoking aids, and you’ve tried quitting smoking without any help at all, you may think it’s just not meant to be. If you haven’t tried quit smoking hypnosis, you should take a minute to consider the possibility.
When the word “hypnosis” is mentioned, many people immediately conjure up images of the comedic hypnotists that make unsuspecting participants quack like a duck or perform some other ridiculous action. Hypnosis stop smoking programs are serious help for those with a serious desire to quit smoking cigarettes.
There’s no doubt that suggestion is a powerful tool. If you doubt that, just think about the amount of money spent on advertising. While it’s not hypnosis in the purest sense of the word, there’s no doubt that advertising works because we are open to suggestion. This is the first major step before turning to hypnosis as quit smoking help – you have to believe that hypnosis will work and open yourself to the power of suggestion.
Smoking cessation is undeniably difficult. One of the most common problems faced by those who seek out hypnotherapy seems to be the expectation that stop smoking help will be easy with hypnotherapy. The truth is that most who undergo hypnosis still report an occasional craving for a cigarette. There’s no doubt that stopping smoking isn’t easy, and there seems to be no stop smoking methods that work without the will power of the smoker. If you want to know how to stop smoking without ever facing any cravings for another cigarette, you’re looking for a magic cure – unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to exist.
That’s not to say that hypnosis doesn’t work - quite the contrary. And there are those people who report that they never again have the desire to pick up another cigarette. Just don’t enter into a hypnosis program expecting perfect results. This, like all quit smoking products and programs, should be counted as one part of the overall plan.
Quit smoking support is another important factor, and you may very well get the needed support as part of the hypnosis program. There could be a group that meets periodically, or the hypnotist may be available for additional consultations at no cost over a specific period of time.
Cost is another factor that keeps some people from seeking out hypnosis. You’ll find that this isn’t a free stop smoking program, but it may not be as expensive as you think. You’ll find plenty of advertisements in most areas for around $100.
Despite what some people think, stop smoking hypnosis isn’t a magic cure. Regardless of what stop smoking programs you try, you’re likely going to experience some withdrawal and there will be times that cigarette smoking is appealing. But if you’re ready for help to stop smoking, hypnosis may very well be just the answer you’ve been searching for.
There’s no doubt that smoking is detrimental to your health, and that there are incredible benefits to quitting. Isn’t it time you considered hypnotherapy?

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By Steve Hill

Steve Hill discusses the quit smoking process. Learn the facts before you decide which quit smoking product to buy. Read more no-hype stop smoking articles and information at: quit smoking.

Heart Disease in Women

According to the American Heart Association’s Heart Disease and Stroke Statistics, cardiovascular disease (CVD) is still the United States number one killer of men and women of all ethnic groups. The statistical update for 2005 utilized the statistics compiled for 2002, or the most recent year that data are available.
Cardiovascular diseases include high blood pressure, arrhythmia, valve disease, congestive heart failure and stroke. Coronary heart disease (CHD) or hardening of the arteries is the largest killer of Americans. There were 494.4 thousand coronary heart disease deaths in 2002 including 179.5 thousand deaths from heart attack. The deaths from CHD included 241.6 thousand females of which 25.9 thousand were Black females. The number of deaths from strokes for Black females was 9.6 thousand.
CVD* Profile:

• 1 in 4 females has some form of cardiovascular disease.

• Since 1984, the number of CVD deaths for females has exceeded those for males.

• In 2002 CVD caused the deaths of 493, 623 females compared with 433,825 males. Females represent 53.2 percent of deaths from CVD.

• In the United States in 2002, all cardiovascular diseases combined claim the lives of 493,623 females while all forms of cancer combined to kill 268,503 females. Breast cancer claimed the lives of 41,514 females; lung cancer claimed 67,542.

• The 2002 overall death rate from CVD was 320.5. Death rates were ¬--265.6 for white females --368.1 for black females.

• *In 2002 cardiovascular disease was the first listed diagnosis of 3,164,000 females discharged from short-stay hospitals. Discharges include people both living and dead.
The risk factors for CVD are not only common in the African America community, they are also preventable. These factors include high blood pressure, abnormal cholesterol profile, overweight & obesity, abnormal blood glucose and the use of tobacco.
Risk factors are preventable at an early age, before manifesting as cardiovascular disease later.
Lifestyle choices for prevention include but are not limited to:
• Exercising 30 minutes daily

• Eat vegetables, fruits and grains

• Eat a low fat, low carbohydrate, low cholesterol, low salt diet

• Eat fish, lean meats, poultry

• Drink eight glasses of water daily

• Eliminate processed foods, sugar, pastry

• Reduce life stressors and/or reaction to stressors

• Engage in spiritual activities

• Give community service
Due to the urgent need for ongoing intervention to reverse the trend of increasing numbers of diabetes and obesity, heart disease and stroke, I have partnered with the American Heart Association to provide a community awareness program to help improve the health and wellness of community residents. This program revolves around the National Go Red for Women and Heart Health initiatives.
To help raise the awareness of community residents and its members at large, of the need for heart health and the prevention of CAD in women, I encourage women to join me on February 3 by wearing red, in accordance with the American Heart Association’s National Go Red for Women Day. In addition I ask women to schedule an appointment for themselves and family members to see their nurse practitioner, internist, or pediatrician.

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By Johnetta Miner

*Source: The American Heart Association
Johnetta Miner, NP, is the founder and President of Johnetta Miner, NP. She is a Jin Shin Jyutsu® Physio-Philosophy practitioner and Jin Shin Jyutsu self help instructor. J. Miner, NP has provided primary care to adolescents and women specializing in prenatal, obstetrical and gynecological care. She advocates preventative health care in an integrative manner, combining traditional and western medicine. Johnetta brings years of experience to the company as a Registered Nurse, Women's Health Nurse Practitioner and Public Health Consultant. She can be reached at http://www.jeminer.com.

Infertility and the Immune System

The body's immune system is our first and major line of defense against diseases and invading germs. It is comparable to soldiers stationed at the borders of a country, always ready to defend against any form of attack. The body's immune system has the intelligence to differentiate between the normal body cells and foreign/invading cells. It can trigger off a local or widespread alarm response or attack against invading microbes. It can also keep memories of these offending cells, so that it can repel them if they ever show up next time. The body's immune system works like a perfectly set up machine. However, it does have its shortcomings. There may be times when, for some reason, it breaks down and leaves the body at the mercy of invading microbes. There could also be times when the ability to differentiate between body cells and foreign cells goes sour and the immune system will turn its arsenal of attack against normal healthy body cells it is suppose to protect, causing damage to the body system.
The immune system plays a vital role in normal body functioning and the reproductive system is not excluded. Several cells of the immune system help in the reproductive process. For example, some inflammatory cells and their secretory products are important in ovulation and in the preparation of the endometrium of the uterus for the implantation of the fertilized egg. It is therefore not surprising to learn that any dysfunction of the immune system would interfere with the normal reproductive process and by extension, fertility.
As a matter of fact, it is estimated that up to 20% of otherwise 'unexplained' infertility in couples have an immune factor involved. There is not so much scientific evidence to link immune factors to infertility; however, there is a solid scientific evidence to implicate the formation of antibodies against sperm cells as an important infertility factor.
Normally, the sperm cells are protected from the reach of the immune system by tight connections between the cells lining the male reproductive tract, a natural protective mechanism known as the 'Blood Testes barrier'. This protects the testes from having any contact whatsoever with the blood, where the majority of immune cells are housed. Any injury or condition that compromises this barrier gives the immune cells access to the sperm cells. The immune system, not familiar with these sperm cells, because of the barrier separating them, treats the sperm cells as foreign cells and anti sperm antibodies may be formed.
Anti sperm antibodies tend to be commoner in infertile men. Almost 10% of all infertile men have anti sperm antibodies compared to about 1% of fertile men.
The most profound risk factor happens to be surgery on the reproductive tract. Nearly 70% of all men who have undergone a vasectomy reversal would have anti sperm antibodies present on their sperm. Other factors that may also contribute to this condition include:
- Varicocele or dilation of the veins surrounding the spermatic cord - Testicular torsion or twisting of the testicle - Undescended testes - Cancer of the testes - Infections like prostatitis - Inguinal hernia surgical repair, especially before puberty.
It is amazing to note, however, that several men with anti sperm antibodies have none of these conditions. This shows that every man with fertility problems is at risk of this condition, especially when no other reason has been diagnosed for the infertility.
Women also stand a risk of anti sperm antibodies. It is believed that about 5% of women with fertility problems could have these antibodies. What is not clear is who is at risk for their formation. Fortunately, intra uterine insemination, which involved placing 'treated sperm cells' into the uterine cavity of a woman, has not been shown to cause the formation of anti sperm antibodies.
The immune system has also been found to affect the ability to carry pregnancy in some women. In women with recurrent pregnancy loss, there is a group of antibodies that appear to attack an early developing pregnancy, resulting in either a miscarriage or severe preeclampsia with risk of intrauterine growth retardation or even foetal death. These antibodies are collectively called anti phospholipid antibodies and testing for them should be an integral part of the work up for recurrent pregnancy loss. It is still unclear if these antibodies affect the ability to get pregnant, but some physicians are of the opinion that the presence of these antibodies may decrease the chances for pregnancy through an invitro fertilization.
There are still several controversial areas as regards immunological factors and infertility. However, what is clear is that the immune system really does affect your fertility when things go wrong.

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By Michael Russell

Your Independent guide to Infertility

Female Infertility and Lifestyle Choices

There is a growing concern about fertility in the whole industrialized world today. Almost 14% of couples have infertility problems. There is a fear that infertility is on the increase and about 40-50% of these problems are associated with the woman. It is amazing to note, however, that there are many things that can affect reproductive health, that we as humans have control over. Lifestyle choices like smoking, alcohol consumption, caffeine healthy/unhealthy eating habits, weight, sexual practices and so forth all have impact on fertility and it is within our ability to control all these.
Most women are unaware as to how important these choices can be with regard to future attempts to conceive. It will be in order to examine these lifestyle choices and how much they affect our reproductive health.
*Weight ProblemsOver/Under weight On both sides of the scale, body weight plays a vital role in fertility. Obesity has been associated with infertility and menstrual irregularities. Women who are overweight but without Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) suffer the same problems with ovulation and menstrual anomalies as women with PCOS and in most cases, this is found to be inexplicable medically. But it has been shown that group treatment programs that help obese women with diets and exercise plans have caused a return of fertility in many patients. In overweight women with ovulation and menstrual irregularity, a weight loss of 6.5kg (15lbs) has been shown to restore normal ovulation. Therefore, it is believed that the improvement in insulin resistance achieved with the weight loss has more to do with restoring ovulation than the actual amount of weight loss itself. Several studies have shown that a Body Mass Index (BMI) of 23-30 is considered overweight and a BMI above 30 is said to be obese.
Just as overweight is bad for fertility, extreme underweight has also been shown to cause ovulatory dysfunction and thus infertility. In a woman with anideal body weight (BMI of 20-25) a moderate weight loss of 10-15% can cause menstrual irregularity and a weight gain in such underweight women has also been shown to restore ovulation and pregnancy in most cases. A BMI of 17.5-20 is considered underweight and below 17.5 is severely underweight.
*SmokingOver the years, several reports have consistently reiterated that smoking decreases fertility.
Smokers suffer a risk of menopause1.5-3 years earlier than normal, decreased oestrogen with breakthrough bleeding and a shortened luteal phase of the menstrual cycle. All these suggest that smoking exerts some toxic effects on the follicles directly. Also, nicotine, a component of cigarette smoke has been shown to concentrate in cervical mucous and the metabolites have also been found in the follicular fluid. This is believed to be responsible for delayed follicular growth and maturation in smokers. Smoking is also associated with an increased incidence of ectopic pregnancy and an increased spontaneous abortion rate which also suggests it affects the uterine tubes and tubal motility.
*Delayed ChildbearingCivilization also comes with its consequences. It is common to see women in industrialized nations delaying childbearing to pursue educational and career opportunities till later years.
What most women in this regard do not realize is that aging brings with it many effects that affect almost every part of the body and the reproductive system is not left out. Some of the effects of age on fertility include:
- Depletion, over time, of the ovarian follicles affecting menstrual and ovulatory regularity - endometriosis has more time to produce scarring of the ovaries and tubes, reducing free movement of these organs. It can even take the place of the ovarian follicular tissues, if ovarian endometriosis persists and grows.
- Fibroids can slowly grow causing endometrial bleeding that can disrupt implantation sites or even distort the endometrial cavity which affects the ability to carry pregnancy in the early stages.
- Abdominal adhesions from other intra abdominal surgery or ruptured ovarian cysts can also affect tubal motility, required to sweep the ovaries and gather an ovulated egg.
*Alcohol and infertilityThe total effects of alcohol consumption on fertility may not be clear, but what is known for certain is that alcohol abuse does constitute a risk of infertility. In a survey, women with high alcohol use reported more menstrual and gynaecological surgery. Alcohol has also been shown to alter oestrogen and progesterone levels and also cause anovulation (menstruation without ovulation). But what is not clear, however, is how much alcohol consumption is bad for fertility, or alternatively, how much is safe. It is established that during pregnancy, an average of 2drinks per day or more can produce foetal alcohol syndrome birth defects. Another study showed that a consumption of more than 100gram of alcohol a week (1drink per day) is associated with 60% increase in ovulation difficulties.
Also, increased caffeine consumption has been shown to affect the ability to become pregnant and carry the pregnancy. This is because caffeine clearance from the body is decreased during the luteal phase. Animal and human research data also show an increased risk of spontaneous abortions with increased caffeine use and a decreased foetal growth during pregnancy with increased caffeine intake. Consumption of three or less servings of coffee per day may be harmless, but more than this amount i.e. greater than 300mg per day may lead to fertility problems.
Women with Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) stand a greater risk of infertility and untreated STDs especially gonorrhoea and chlamydia, are the major cause of PID.
The choices we make everyday have a positive or negative impact on our ability to conceive.
Decide to make the right decisions today and enjoy a better reproductive health.

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By Michael Russell

Michael Russell

Your Independent guide to Infertility

Attract Mr. Right: Your Holiday Action Plan

Holiday season is officially upon us. Here's a quick course to help ensure you spend a romantic, magical 2006 with the kind of man you've always dreamed about:
1) Love yourself. It's been said that you can't love anybody else until you love yourself. Well, I'll go one further: Nobody can love you until you love yourself, either. Until you do, you will continue to attract losers, abusers, schmoozers, and No-Show Joes. Love yourself, and you will attract men who love you and make you happy. It's that simple.
2) Bring to mind all the frogs you've kissed over the years. Write a list of the qualities you didn't like about them. How did they disappoint you?
3) Turn that list around. Write the opposite quality for every bad quality you listed. For example, if your former boyfriends were unfaithful, dishonest, manipulative, unreliable, you'd turn the list around to read: faithful, truthful, respectful of my feelings, and reliable.
4) Write an affirmation around your new list using the present tense. For example, "I am happily married (or involved with) a faithful, truthful, reliable man, who is fun to be with and respectful of my feelings." (Add the word "fun" to ensure you don't attract the nice but boring type.)
5) Write your affirmation 10-15 times a day for at least 30 days. It helps to conjure the sensation of how you'd feel when you are actually with the person you've described (feeling the affirmation helps convince the subconscious that what you're writing is fact). If you're feeling ambitious, try writing your affirmation with your non-dominant hand three to six times.
6) For the next 30 days, speak your affirmation: In the shower, in the car, while you're cooking dinner (but not on the bus or in a restaurant; people will laugh at you). Again, allow yourself to feel it. This may take time, but keep at it.
7) Be the person you want to marry. If you want a truthful man, be truthful. If you want somebody who resists playing head games, don't play them. If you want somebody polite, turn your cell phone off before you go into the movie theater and drive 25 mph in 25 mph zones.
8) Love yourself. Yes, I'm repeating myself, but loving yourself ensures you attract good men (as well as good jobs, good friends, good parties). What's more, you'll be more likely to recognize all this goodness when it appears.
9) Become aware of inner changes. After a while, you'll begin to attract a different kind of man. More important, you'll be attracted to a different type of man. Man-meeting opportunities will suddenly become abundant. Take notice.

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By Terry Hernon MacDonald

Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of "How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams." Sign up for free dating tips at http://www.marrysmart.com. Check out Terry's blog at http://happygirlmusing.blogspot.com. .

How To Give Yourself A Brazilian Bikini Wax?

Before you give yourself a brazilian bikini wax, be warned that most women don't find it comfortable. Pulling out your pubic hair and ripping them out from the roots is not the best feeling – After all, you are dealing with your most sensitive and intimate regions. Make sure that you want to have a brazilian bikini wax – You may get a standard bikini wax or a full bikini which can cause you less damage.
The first step would be to make a long warm shower washing and cleaning your pubic area. Then, trim down your pubic hair with scissors or with a shaver till it will have a length of a quarter inch.
Use a hard wax (A low temperature one) for a less painful process. Smooth the wax with a pre-waxing oil before applying it over your hair. This oil keeps it from sticking to the skin, and allows the wax to be used without strips, making for a much more comfortable experience. As the wax cools, it basically shrink-wraps each hair and pulls it out from the root. You may remove some stubborn hair with a set of tweezers.
Use a big mirror and move into any position you think will be more comfort – put your legs up, on the sides or even over your head. If you feel the pain is unbearable stop until you feel you are ready to go on.
once you finished with the waxing process and you are happy with your brazilian bikini wax, you should apply a soothing lotion on your bikini area.
If done correctly, your pubic area will stay smooth for anywhere between 14 and 25 days. We advice you to go to a professional salon to do your first brazilian bikini wax. After watching the therapist and feeling the discomfort and pain you will be able to decide whether you wish to give yourself the next brazilian wax.

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By Paton Jackson

911 Corp. executed an independent research to find the best method for removing pubic hair. The results were clear. Find out more on Brazilian wax and more.

Thanksgiving Mail

As we rush through our lives to unknown places, we forget many of the things that bring value to our lives. With how many friends have you lost touch? When was the last time you appreciated the people in your life and told them?

In today’s world with phones, cell phones, Instant messaging and email, we are so in touch that we are out of touch. Communication is so high-speed that it can speed right by us. There’s a huge difference between getting an email and getting a card. When you take the time to go to a card shop, pick a card, write something in it and mail it, you are really showing someone that he or she counts. It wasn’t easy nor was it quick; it showed you cared. It’s also amazing.

There’s something special about getting a card in the mail. It’s like a surprise that took time to arrive. The value seems to grow as it travels through the mail system. Through rain, snow or sleet there are people working to get you that card. A whole system and country seems to be behind the card getting to you, all the way back to the days of the old west, when the pony express raced across the countryside, risking life and safety to bring you that card.

Yes, a card is special, and at this time of Thanksgiving we should slow down and decide to really be thankful for those who bring meaning to our lives. This Thanksgiving, let’s think about the people whom we are thankful for and let them know. Take the time and go card shopping. Buy as many cards as you can think of people to whom you should send them, even to people you know only casually for it would be fun to brighten their day. Then, actually add to the card by writing something yourself. Don’t create pressure on yourself, it as easy as just saying, “I wanted you to know this Thanksgiving how thankful I am that you are part of my life.”

Even if you are married or live with someone, mail them a card. It will really mean something when it comes through the mail, and to the person in your life when they get it. Don’t tell people you sent them a card. Let it be a surprise and enjoy the impact. They will know that they are important, and they will feel special, and you will feel good about it. As John Donne put it, “Sir, more than kisses, letters mingle souls. For thus friends absent speak.”

At the end of the day, it’s not what we have but whom we have to share life with that counts. So let’s be thankful about the people in our lives with Thanksgiving mail.

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By Devlyn Steele

About The Author- As a life coach, Devlyn has made helping people find ways to improve their lives his personal mission and passion. He is a public consultant, a private counselor, an author and creator of Tools To Life. He has hosted his own radio shows called "Tools To Life" and "Love beat" and has been a guest on over 150 various shows. You can read his articles and advice all over the internet. Devlyn has often been referred to as "America's Leading Life-Coach." For more information visit DevlynSteele.com or LifeCoachAdvice.com Send Questions To: CoachSteele@ToolsToLife.com

Changing Your Thanksgiving Chair

You can change your life by simple changing the seat that you look at your life from. Thanksgiving taught me this as a child.
Growing up in Manhattan was an obstacle course of speed, traffic, hustle and bustle. It was an exciting place with tons of energy. The abundance of energy pointed in a billion different directions and you could often feel alone in your individual pursuits.
Then came the magical time of Thanksgiving where the city transformed.
As the days grew closer the excitement could be felt in the air. People seemed warmer, nicer, and though the pace remained fast, it seemed to slow down. The stranger smiled as he pushed you out of his way. The cabby honked at you but left out the crass comment, and you knew things were different.
Walking down Central Park, No Parking Wednesday and Thursday signs were posted about and the benches and barricades were dropped off in piles along the sidewalk. The cold air was just starting to find its way in and the city smelt fresh and clean.
Then came Wednesday and it seemed that everyone was on the same mission. The energy, instead of being pointed in a billion different directions, had a common purpose. You felt a connection, a bond, as everyone did smile and the pushes and shoves changed to helping hands. The smiles were everywhere and everyone wished you well on your holidays. You couldn’t help but feel excited and happy.
The city changed into a town. It felt like Anywhere, U.S.A. where you knew everyone and everyone knew you. Living on the Upper West Side, Wednesday night was a special time when the parade balloons were blown up all night along side the Museum of Natural History. Traffic was gone and the people took to the streets. The shops sold hot apple cider with cinnamon sticks and you would clasps your hands around the cup for warmth. Then you could get a peek at the magnificent balloons and everyone was one big family.
Early the next morning I’d be out walking the dog; Central Park would be empty and quite. In just a few hours millions would poor into the city as the nation gathered to see the magnificent Macy’s parade. But in those early morning hours the world felt completely at peace to me. I felt the goodness of the hearts of my neighbors and I felt safe.
Then the parade and crowds did roll through and it was a celebration like no other with children perched atop their parents’ shoulder clapping and gasping with amazement at the passing parade. We showed appreciation for all the high school bands from all over the country. Then we cheered for the all the familiar characters that brought us so many moments of laughter and joy.
After we celebrated as a city and as a nation, it was family time. Time to gather and sneak a few bites of stuffing before the long awaited meal was served. What a time to feel good and appreciate being with each other. A time to give thanks! It was a feeling I learned well and one that has always stayed with me.
The question I have for you is, what really changes during Thanksgiving? Did the people really change? Did the city really become a town? What was the event that changed?
When working with clients I often perform the following exercise. I ask them to move from chair to chair in my office and take a look at the room, finally retuning to the original position. Then I ask, “From each chair the room looked different, didn’t it?” The answer is always, “Yes.” Next I ask, “Did anything really physically change in the room?” The answer always being, “No.” The point being that nothing in life really has to change for you to enjoy it, other than the point of view you choose to take. What chair do you want to look at your life from, the chair of have nots and disappointment, or the chair of opportunities, appreciation and gratitude?
Change your point of view and you change your life. What changed the city into a town was everyone taking on the same point of view. When large groups take on the same point of view, whether negative or positive, you feel the common energy. What transforms Thanksgiving is the abundance of positive energy and you can feel it in your bones.
It is time for all of us to change our attitudes!
Did you know that the Macy’s parade was not started by Macy’s? The employees of Macy’s were once made up mostly of immigrants who were truly appreciative of their lives and opportunities here in the United States. All from different backgrounds, countries and religions, they gathered at 125th Street dressed as clowns and other costumes carrying balloons. They marched in celebration and gratitude to Macy’s on 34th Street. 250,000 people came out to watch them and be part of the celebration of life itself.
It was such a success that Macy’s fully got behind it the following year and it has been part of our tradition ever since. That was back in 1927. It’s amazing how we can affect the world with our individual initiative and actions. Yes, you can also affect your life with the actions you take. We do not need a specific holiday such as Thanksgiving to be positive and come together. The Pilgrims did so whenever the occasion called for it.
We are here and living freely as we do so tell yourself every day, “I’m having a great day!” That means “I want to do my best everyday and look at life from the chair of opportunities and appreciation!”
“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.’
-Cicero

Change the seat you look at your life this Thanksgiving. It’s simple; get up and sit in a different chair and think about all the blessings and opportunities you have in your life and be thankful.

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By Devlyn Steele

About The Author- As a life coach, Devlyn has made helping people find ways to improve their lives his personal mission and passion. He is a public consultant, a private counselor, an author and creator of Tools To Life. He has hosted his own radio shows called "Tools To Life" and "Love beat" and has been a guest on over 150 various shows. You can read his articles and advice all over the internet. Devlyn has often been referred to as "America's Leading Life-Coach." For more information visit DevlynSteele.com or LifeCoachAdvice.com Send Questions To: CoachSteele@ToolsToLife.com.

The Dating Box

Weather you are actively dating or just getting back into dating, it is a world full of possibilities. However, most of us are creatures of habit and our patterns keep us in a dating box, searching for and dating the same types over and over.

Making contact online, you first have to find people that interest you by searching the dating website’s membership. Online the dating box is literal, as you have to fill in web forms to find potential dates. Most dating sites give you two ways to search – quick or advanced. Quick searches are just that – they’re small web forms that let you search based on just a few criteria, like location or age. Advanced searches are larger web forms that let you search using lots of more specific criteria, like hair color, eye color, education, body type and more.

Just remember that the more criteria that you use for your searches, the fewer results you’ll get. Searches are unforgiving – they’ll return exactly what you ask for. We call them “harsh numbers”. When you choose an age range of, let’s say, 30-39, the person who just turned 40 will not show up in the search results. If you want to find someone with light brown hair, those great dark brown haired people…like me…will be cast aside.

Also, many sites let you use keywords as part of the search criteria. This allows a search for words in a member’s profile that match your areas of interest. You can search specifically for words like “tennis”, “skiing”, or something else. This lets you be super-specific if you wish.

Although you want to find someone that attracts you and that you share things in common, don’t limit yourself to what you think is “your type”. After all, the “type” that you have gone for in the past might have not worked out. Think “outside your box”. What we often think is “our type” is the same person we have been chasing unsuccessfully, through one bad relationship after another, our whole life. Even if your type was a successful relationship in the past, you cannot repeat a relationship you once had with someone new. Unless you date outside your box you will never know if maybe someone different just might be your “type.”

When going over your wants, there is the numbers trap that we need to watch out for as well. Offline we often use the _expression, “numbers don’t lie.” However the new culture of online dating, numbers often do lie.

For instance the harsh numbers of weight, height and age when in black and white may make a person appear unattractive to you online, who you would find very attractive offline.

When we meet people in person we don’t say,
How old are you?
How much do you weigh?
How tall are you?
How much money do you make?

In person someone may carry his or her height, weight or age off in a very attractive manner. But when you look at the numbers online you think too old, too heavy, too short, too tall etc and that simply may not be the case. You have the right to want what you want, but I tell you this so that you can allow yourself to look past the numbers and be more open.

If you’re not finding people that fit, try expanding your horizons. You are not making any long-term commitment when meeting people, so be open and meet more people and who you fall for might surprise you. So get out of your dating box and don’t restrict yourself. Allow the incredible opportunity of online dating to work for you. Contact and meet a lot of people and leave yourself open to the possibilities…

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By Devlyn Steele

About The Author- As a life coach, Devlyn has made helping people find ways to improve their lives his personal mission and passion. He is a public consultant, a private counselor, an author and creator of Tools To Life. He has hosted his own radio shows called "Tools To Life" and "Love beat" and has been a guest on over 150 various shows. You can read his articles and advice all over the internet. Devlyn has often been referred to as "America's Leading Life-Coach." For free E-books and more information visit DevlynSteele.com Send Questions To: CoachSteele@ToolsToLife.com.